The Best Of Bonk

[win-ho-lee]

If you have wondered like I have, "how can any one person dislike every
opinion ever offered? ", I have assembled this look into the mind of Bonk.

You see, we inferior beings just cannot compare, so I have assembled
these "Bonklets" to help us grow into the Big Bonkers that we can all be.

All of the following are REAL Bonkeriffic answers about real house
cleaning issues!

Have you thought of writing for Mills and Boon?

You've been drinking again Homer!

Try dropping jam, grease and cake crumbs
on the floor and worktops.

I saw a snake down by the duck pond today. Perhaps it was doing the washing.

maybe it's spelt wrong

You need a dolly bird on your arm when you are out and about. I am
going to volunteer my services. I'm not exactly a spring chicken but
I'll do for the job, can you carry shopping?


So, the next time you get Bonkers for giving the wrong bit of advice,
try to model your answers after these Bonktastic ones.

[sweep@whoever.com]

> maybe it's spelt wrong

You show your ignorance and make a fool of yourself.

> So, the next time you get Bonkers for giving the wrong bit of advice,
> try to model your answers after these Bonktastic ones.

WOW there's a jealous troll
As one of the most respected, informative posters in the group Mrs Bonk
should report YOU

[Mrs Bonk]

win-ho-lee wrote:
> If you have wondered like I have, "how can any one person dislike every
> opinion ever offered? ", I have assembled this look into the mind of Bonk.
>
> You see, we inferior beings just cannot compare, so I have assembled
> these "Bonklets" to help us grow into the Big Bonkers that we can all be.
>
> All of the following are REAL Bonkeriffic answers about real house
> cleaning issues!
>
> Have you thought of writing for Mills and Boon?
>
> You've been drinking again Homer!
>
> Try dropping jam, grease and cake crumbs
> on the floor and worktops.
>
> I saw a snake down by the duck pond today. Perhaps it was doing the
> washing.
> maybe it's spelt wrong
>
> You need a dolly bird on your arm when you are out and about. I am
> going to volunteer my services. I'm not exactly a spring chicken but
> I'll do for the job, can you carry shopping?
>
>
> So, the next time you get Bonkers for giving the wrong bit of advice,
> try to model your answers after these Bonktastic ones.

Thank you dear, how sweet that you've taken the time to look me up. It's SO
nice to know my words are appreciated. Hopefully the Doctor can fit you in
today. Always best to get it over with even though the outcome may not be
pleasant. I'm sure it will be treatable, they can do wonders in his day and
age. Good luck with it anyway.

[win-ho-lee]

sweep@whoever.com wrote:
>
>
>>maybe it's spelt wrong
Remember, These are Bonklets of wisdom, not my own.

You see, it just comes down to
1) soap/water/elbow grease
2) WD40/Goo Gone/Goof Off
or
3)It probably won't come clean.

Bonk's raison d' etre seems to be to remind us that math is a count
noun, not a mass noun, and to assert that "wash powder" should be used
if a yank suggests laundry soap.

>
> You show your ignorance and make a fool of yourself.
>
>
>>So, the next time you get Bonkers for giving the wrong bit of advice,
>>try to model your answers after these Bonktastic ones.
>
>
> WOW there's a jealous troll
> As one of the most respected, informative posters in the group Mrs Bonk
> should report YOU
>

[peggo]

"Mrs Bonk" <arse@cuteyspam.com> wrote in message
news:3u01p5Fupd96U1@individual.net...
> win-ho-lee wrote:
>> If you have wondered like I have, "how can any one person dislike every
>> opinion ever offered? ", I have assembled this look into the mind of
>> Bonk.
>>
>> You see, we inferior beings just cannot compare, so I have assembled
>> these "Bonklets" to help us grow into the Big Bonkers that we can all be.
>>
>> All of the following are REAL Bonkeriffic answers about real house
>> cleaning issues!
>>
>> Have you thought of writing for Mills and Boon?
>>
>> You've been drinking again Homer!
>>
>> Try dropping jam, grease and cake crumbs
>> on the floor and worktops.
>>
>> I saw a snake down by the duck pond today. Perhaps it was doing the
>> washing.
>> maybe it's spelt wrong
>>
>> You need a dolly bird on your arm when you are out and about. I am
>> going to volunteer my services. I'm not exactly a spring chicken but
>> I'll do for the job, can you carry shopping?
>>
>>
>> So, the next time you get Bonkers for giving the wrong bit of advice,
>> try to model your answers after these Bonktastic ones.
>
> Thank you dear, how sweet that you've taken the time to look me up. It's
> SO nice to know my words are appreciated. Hopefully the Doctor can fit
> you in today. Always best to get it over with even though the outcome may
> not be pleasant. I'm sure it will be treatable, they can do wonders in his
> day and age. Good luck with it anyway.
>

Mrs Bonk, you ROCK!

peggo

[Mrs Bonk]

win-ho-lee wrote:

> Bonk's raison d' etre seems to be to remind us that math is a count
> noun, not a mass noun, and to assert that "wash powder" should be used
> if a yank suggests laundry soap.

Tut tut....*washing* powder dear, do get it right!

[Gregory Morrow]

Mrs Bonk wrote:

> win-ho-lee wrote:
> > If you have wondered like I have, "how can any one person dislike every
> > opinion ever offered? ", I have assembled this look into the mind of
Bonk.
> >
> > You see, we inferior beings just cannot compare, so I have assembled
> > these "Bonklets" to help us grow into the Big Bonkers that we can all
be.
> >
> > All of the following are REAL Bonkeriffic answers about real house
> > cleaning issues!
> >
> > Have you thought of writing for Mills and Boon?
> >
> > You've been drinking again Homer!
> >
> > Try dropping jam, grease and cake crumbs
> > on the floor and worktops.
> >
> > I saw a snake down by the duck pond today. Perhaps it was doing the
> > washing.
> > maybe it's spelt wrong
> >
> > You need a dolly bird on your arm when you are out and about. I am
> > going to volunteer my services. I'm not exactly a spring chicken but
> > I'll do for the job, can you carry shopping?
> >
> >
> > So, the next time you get Bonkers for giving the wrong bit of advice,
> > try to model your answers after these Bonktastic ones.
>
> Thank you dear, how sweet that you've taken the time to look me up. It's
SO
> nice to know my words are appreciated. Hopefully the Doctor can fit you
in
> today. Always best to get it over with even though the outcome may not be
> pleasant. I'm sure it will be treatable, they can do wonders in his day
and
> age. Good luck with it anyway.


I daresay I for one enjoy your maledictions, Mrs. B....you are inimitable so
do carry on!

--
Best
Greg

[Nan]

On Wed, 16 Nov 2005 06:26:43 -0000, "Mrs Bonk" <arse@cuteyspam.com>
wrote:

>Thank you dear, how sweet that you've taken the time to look me up. It's SO
>nice to know my words are appreciated. Hopefully the Doctor can fit you in
>today. Always best to get it over with even though the outcome may not be
>pleasant. I'm sure it will be treatable, they can do wonders in his day and
>age. Good luck with it anyway.

Hehehe. Mrs. B, you're the reason I love reading this group.

Nan