Can Someone Help Me Get Out Some Pesky Stains?

[The Ghost of Grandpa Hole]

Greetings,

Forgive my solicitous nature, but... for the past few months I've had
the privilege of house-sitting for my Grandson, and though I haven't
burned the place down to the ground I've also been somewhat negligent
when cleaning up spills and such as quickly as my Grandson would
probably have liked. Look, I'm no spring chicken here, so I slacked off
while the liquids set into various fabrics, it happens. None of this was
done to be malicious. I'm just forgetful.

Despite my lackadaiscial and some would say apathetic approach to the
science of housework I've just learned that he'll be returning home from
the clinic where he's been staying by Friday, or Saturday, and I fear
I'm in a bit of a pickle, and I could use some assistance. LIKE NOW!

Does anyone here have reliable cleaning techniques for stain removal?
Although I've stayed out of his room, the rest of the pad could use a
good "going over" as they say. Simply put, its looking quit bedraggled,
and I don't want to botch the job.

Please, be precise, because I don't want my cleaning methods or work
ethic to be viewed as derelict.

Also, I would be remiss were I not to mention here that most of these
stains were caused by my ectoplasm. I'm afraid I just expel the stuff at
the drop of a hat; I could be floating somewhere, minding my own
beeswax, and if you were to take a peak underneath me you'd find a
rather thick, stewy puddle of the stuff all over the place, its quite
unsightly I'm afraid.

Any cleaning tips would be appreciated.












...
Huckleberry Hole

[Don Salad]

holefamily1@webtv.net (The Ghost of Grandpa Hole) wrote:

> Forgive my solicitous nature, but... for the past few months I've had
> the privilege of house-sitting for my Grandson, and though I haven't
> burned the place down to the ground I've also been somewhat negligent
> when cleaning up spills and such as quickly as my Grandson would
> probably have liked. Look, I'm no spring chicken here, so I slacked off
> while the liquids set into various fabrics, it happens. None of this was

You'll have to be specific about all "the liquids" involved, as the
cleaning methods and chemicals vary considerably.

> Also, I would be remiss were I not to mention here that most of these
> stains were caused by my ectoplasm. I'm afraid I just expel the stuff at

http://skepdic.com/ectoplasm.html

"Ectoplasm is the stuff oozing from ghosts/spirits which makes it
possible for them to materialize and perform feats of telekinesis. For
some strange reason, ectoplasm is often not visible to the naked eye
but appears in photographs."

[Oldylocks]

"Don Salad" <caesar@ai.miskatonic.edu> wrote in message
news:9VBNOM7438056.6684027778@anonymous.poster...
> holefamily1@webtv.net (The Ghost of Grandpa Hole) wrote:
>
> > Forgive my solicitous nature, but... for the past few months I've had
> > the privilege of house-sitting for my Grandson, and though I haven't
> > burned the place down to the ground I've also been somewhat negligent
> > when cleaning up spills and such as quickly as my Grandson would
> > probably have liked. Look, I'm no spring chicken here, so I slacked off
> > while the liquids set into various fabrics, it happens. None of this was
>
> You'll have to be specific about all "the liquids" involved, as the
> cleaning methods and chemicals vary considerably.
>
> > Also, I would be remiss were I not to mention here that most of these
> > stains were caused by my ectoplasm. I'm afraid I just expel the stuff at
>
> http://skepdic.com/ectoplasm.html
>
> "Ectoplasm is the stuff oozing from ghosts/spirits which makes it
> possible for them to materialize and perform feats of telekinesis. For
> some strange reason, ectoplasm is often not visible to the naked eye
> but appears in photographs."
>

Don't feed them, Salad.
>

[TimC]

Oldylocks (aka Bruce) was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea:
> "Don Salad" <caesar@ai.miskatonic.edu> wrote in message
> news:9VBNOM7438056.6684027778@anonymous.poster...
>> http://skepdic.com/ectoplasm.html
>>
>> "Ectoplasm is the stuff oozing from ghosts/spirits which makes it
>> possible for them to materialize and perform feats of telekinesis. For
>> some strange reason, ectoplasm is often not visible to the naked eye
>> but appears in photographs."
>>
>
> Don't feed them, Salad.

What's wrong with salad?

--
TimC -- http://astronomy.swin.edu.au/staff/tconnors/
If you tried to understand this, you'd be very confused, in the standard
way we talk about confusion. -- Some astronomer at a talk.

[Tom Kraemer]

In alt.religion.kibology TimC <tconnors@no.astro.spam.swin.accepted.edu.here.au> wrote:

> What's wrong with salad?

You don't win friends with salad.

--
"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
--Bill Gates, 1981

[The Ghost of Grandpa Hole]

"Oldylocks" <no> wrote:

>"Don Salad" <caesar@ai.miskatonic.edu>
>wrote in message
>news:9VBNOM7438056.6684027778@anonymous.poster...

>>holefamily1@webtv.net (The Ghost of
>>Grandpa Hole) wrote:

>>>Forgive my solicitous nature, but... for the
>>>past few months I've had the privilege of
>>>house-sitting for my Grandson, and
>>>though I haven't burned the place down to
>>>the ground I've also been somewhat
>>>negligent when cleaning up spills and
>>>such as quickly as my Grandson would
>>>probably have liked. Look, I'm no spring
>>>chicken here, so I slacked off while the
>>>liquids set into various fabrics, it happens.
>>>None of this was

>>You'll have to be specific about all "the
>>liquids" involved, as the cleaning methods
>>and chemicals vary considerably.

>>>Also, I would be remiss were I not to
>>>mention here that most of these stains
>>>were caused by my ectoplasm. I'm afraid I
>>>just expel the stuff at

>>http://skepdic.com/ectoplasm.html

>>"Ectoplasm is the stuff oozing from
>>ghosts/spirits which makes it possible for
>>them to materialize and perform feats of
>>telekinesis. For some strange reason,
>>ectoplasm is often not visible to the naked
>>eye but appears in photographs."

>Don't feed them, Salad.

Why not? Salad is good, and its GOOD for you! Plus, Salad comes in so
many different varieties that you could have a different kind of Salad
for every meal in the day and almost never have the same one more than
twice!!

[The Ghost of Grandpa Hole]

TimC
<tconnors@no.astro.spam.swin.accepted.edu.here.au> wrote:

>Oldylocks (aka Bruce) was almost, but not
>quite, entirely unlike tea:

>>"Don Salad" <caesar@ai.miskatonic.edu>
>>wrote in message
>>news:9VBNOM7438056.6684027778@anonymous.poster...

>>>http://skepdic.com/ectoplasm.html

>>>"Ectoplasm is the stuff oozing from
>>>ghosts/spirits which makes it possible for
>>>them to materialize and perform feats of
>>>telekinesis. For some strange reason,
>>>ectoplasm is often not visible to the naked
>>>eye but appears in photographs."

>>Don't feed them, Salad.

>What's wrong with salad?

Isn't it evident that "Oldylocks" has a deep rooted irrational hatred
for Salad? Salad, a simple concoction that's done nothing but bring
happiness and light into the world since its creation in the Garden of
Eden 6000 years ago (I SAW A SCENE OF THIS HAPPENING IN MEL GIBSON'S NEW
FILM "THE PASSIONS OF THE GREEN GROCERS", AND YOU CAN'T LIE ABOUT THE
SCRIPTURE AND THEN PUT IT ONTO FILM SO IT MUST BE TRUE) but mean old
Oldylocks has to spew obscenity-laced diatribes about Salad to every
man, womyn, and child across Usenet. It feels like the 60's all over
again, man.

[Don Salad]

> > What's wrong with salad?
>
> You don't win friends with salad.

That doesn't mean Salad can't win friends with something else.